Dr J's Sex Facts

Fun sex facts and accurate information from a clinical sexologist for a hotter and more fulfilling sex life.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

“Slippery When Wet”: Lubes for Love and Lust, Part 2

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
Thomas A. Edison

Oiling Up

Oil-based lubricants can be fun, particularly when used by men for self-pleasuring. They’re not really the best choice for women, because they can actually contribute to yeast-infections. Oil-based lubricants also destroy latex products, which includes diaphragms and cervical caps that are made from rubber. For this reason,you should never, ever use an oil-based lube with a condom because it will break – every time – and usually happens almost instantly. But don’t take my word for it; try it and find out for yourself. When you’re done, write and let us all know how that worked out for you.

A Matter of Taste

Flavored lubricants are lots of fun for external use, and this most definitely includes oral sex, but DO NOT use them internally—they can irritate your delicate mucous membranes, which are fashionably worn internally, of course.

The latest addition to today’s lube arsenal is silicone, which provides extra slipperiness. And silicone lubes last, and last – and last! Want more pluses? They’re especially good for sex in the water because they stay slick. They’re also odorless and almost completely tasteless. But wait! There’s even more: silicone lubes are also safe for use with latex and are equally fine for anal play because of their slippery staying power. Silicone lubes do nearly everything but make fresh coffee and call your mother once a week.

Shop ‘Til You Drop

When you’re out there shopping, remember that it’s important to check the ingredients before making your purchase. Keep in mind that some lubes contain glycerin, and glycerin is tricky, because it can alter your pH balance. If you’re a woman who’s prone to yeast infections, you’ll want to stay far away from glycerin and look for lubes with ingredients that are chemical-free and non-irritating–-hear me now and thank me later. And for those who think green, there are even a variety of lubes available that are made from organic ingredients!

If you’re still unsure about what kind of lube you’d like to try, I highly recommend that you test a bunch of them and find out what works best for you. You might want to choose several options for different activities (self-pleasuring, oral sex, anal sex, etc.) (Show of hands: Do I give hard homework or what?)

If anyone’s interested, I’m particularly partial to Replens because I find it feels the most similar to a woman’s own natural lubrication. But that’s just this Dr. J’s opinion. The lubes of your dreams might just be waiting down the very next aisle (extra credit if you try a tropic isle).

Happy testing! See you in two weeks!

With Pleasure,

Dr. J

Friday, July 20, 2007

The Wet Spot: Lubes for Love and Lust, Part 1

"Lust's passion will be served; it demands, it militates, it tyrannizes."
Marquis De Sade

We all need a little help sometimes, and I’m not just talking about an extra hand. This is where your favorite lube comes in--well, handy. Lubes aren’t just helpful; they also provide a decidedly pleasurable enhancement. Lubes can be fun, and you owe it to yourself to be playing and experimenting with them. Lucky you, today’s lubes come in a wonderfully large assortment, so there’s something for everyone! Do you have any idea what people used for lube 50 years ago? With nothing else available on the market, their choices were limited to either saliva or grease (Eww! Clogged pores anyone? They put that stuff on car parts, right?)

Wet and Wild

Twenty-first century lubes are wonderful substances that have been specifically designed to increase the slick suppleness between all your wonderful moving body parts. And, no, just because your body is turned on, that doesn’t mean you might not need some extra lubrication. Many factors contribute to our natural wetness (or dryness), including your diet, hormone levels and stress. Of course, in the end, lube is absolutely essential for anal play. And believe me, when it comes to sex, the wetter the better!

Today’s designer lubricants are made from a variety of ingredients and come in many different formulations, which contribute to differences in textures, tastes, and uses for various occasions, positions and preferences. There are slippery lubes, scented and flavored lubes, colorful lubes, and even messy lubes. So before you decide which brand is right for you, consider what you’ll be using it for:


The vast majority of lubes are water-based, which is a good thing. Brands such as Liquid Silk, Astroglide and Replens are highly versatile, perfect for self-pleasuring, and suitable for both internal and external use. Because the main ingredient of a water-based lube is water (duh!), these lubes tend to be less irritating than other types. Plus, they’re compatible with virtually any material–-latex, silicone, and cyberskin. Sure, they may dry out more quickly than silicone or oil-based lubes, leaving the lubed area feeling tacky; but all you have to do is add a bit of water to the lubed-up area and voila! Nice and wet again. And being water-based, they also make clean-up a snap.

Many water-based lubes come in formulas that can best be described as a liquid (the thinnest consistency), a cream (a bit thicker consistency) and a gel (the thickest consistency of all). Some people prefer liquid lubricants because the consistency resembles the body’s natural juices. Others swear by the creams. For anal play, gels such as Slippery Stuff and Probe are a good choice because they’re heavier and provide sensitive anal tissue with extra-slick protection.

Stay tuned next week for Part 2, in which we explore oils, creams and gels.

In the meantime, if you’re curious (questioning?) about water-based lubes, you owe it to yourself to get out there and test, test, test! Yes, it requires plenty of “hard work” and elbow grease, but I can’t do EVERYTHING for you!

As always, play sexy and play safe.

With Pleasure,

Dr. J

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Summer: That Sexy Season

“Summer lovin', had me a blast
Summer lovin', happened so fast
Met a girl, crazy for me,
Met a boy, cute as can be,
Summer days drifting away,
To, uh oh, those summer nights"
Summer Nights, by Jim Jacobs and Warren Casey
From the musical “Grease”

Summer’s here, and barbecues and temperatures aren’t the only things heating up – check your calendars, people, because now is most definitely the right time for sexing up the season. All signs point to it: school is out, birds are singing, bees are buzzing; and with the weather this warm, just about everybody you want to look at is wearing less (and less is this season’s more). What are you waiting for? OK, for those who still need a gentle push in the right direction, the Doctor is here with some suggestions to help you get the most out of summer:

Morning sex: Boys do like sex in the morning, and in this season, they’ve got a point. Get together with your hunk of burning love early, before the heat of the day sets in. Or maybe you’d like to try lying together in front of an air conditioner and exploring goose bumps?

Suntan lotion: most lotions can be used like massage oil, so go ahead and rub it on each other’s skin when outdoors (but DO NOT put it on or near crotches, please). Many people associate the smell of suntan lotion with childhood summers spent off at camp or away at the family cabin. I wonder what kind of fantasies you can cook up involving summer camp and tan lines?

Water sports! For some of you this may mean playing with certain bodily fluids; but for others, it conjures up thoughts of sex in the hot tub, the pool or even a larger body of water. Many of us have fantasies about sex in the water. Just remember to use lots of lube, and don’t stay in the water too long, or you’ll end up looking like a prune.

Summer Clothes (“The Cabana Quickie and Other Tales of How I Spent My Summer Vacation”): Some swimsuits are little more than waterproof lingerie. With easy to untie straps and strings, bikinis and swim suits are just tailor-made for tearing off each other. And doesn’t all that exposed skin make you feel soooo sensuous?

Food: When you’re outdoors, you can feed each other slurpy, messy toppings like chocolate syrup and whipped cream without worrying—you can even apply them generously to each other’s skin and feast away. When you’re done, just hose off – and start all over again!

That’s it, my sunflowers. It’s time to break out those bold summer moves, liberate your mind and get that hot body in gear (rinse, repeat). If anyone’s looking for me, the Doc will be poolside, wearing nothing but a grin, a pair of sunglasses and one fantastic tan. While you’re up, be a dear and get me a Mai Tai.

With Pleasure,

Dr. J