Dr J's Sex Facts

Fun sex facts and accurate information from a clinical sexologist for a hotter and more fulfilling sex life.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Joyous Thanksgiving!

"Gratitude is a twofold love -- love coming to visit us, and love running out to greet a welcome guest."
...Henry van Dyke, late 19th-early 20th century American author and educator

The holidays are upon us, and whatever you celebrate, you’re likely to be inundated with food, drink, shopping and stress. Our body image can take a big hit when we get on the scales in January to discover that special holiday gift of yet another few pounds. Many of us just don’t feel sexy when we’re dragging around some extra weight. Women might avoid helpful p-v positions because they worry their stomachs might look fat or their breasts saggy. Men’s confidence might diminish at discovering their penises look smaller when hidden under a bit of a belly. Let’s recognize that we’re sexy beings regardless of our looks; and most of us will feel even sexier by maintaining our bodies in good health.

On a happy note, here are a few holiday ideas not just for surviving, but thriving:

· Holiday Parties: A friend of mine suggests that you remember not to act like a complete ass when you bump into an ex or that you overcome your innate shyness and talk to that special someone you’ve been wanting to get to know better (what a great holiday gift to yourself!).

· When you’re feeling stressed: Breathe. Smile. Have an orgasm.

· Express yourself! Don't be shy about telling that special someone (or someones) just how thankful you are that they're in your life.

· And for those of you who have aaaaaall your issues handled, here’s a reminder to play safe and play smart.

This T-Day, I’m particularly thankful for:

- My incredibly brave community college students, who continue to amaze me with their willingness to learn and grow.

- My family and friends, for putting up with a know-it-all sexologist.

- And finally, Maestro Jim and #9 for all their inspiration and help with producing this blog.

As always, the doctor is in for your questions and comments.

With Pleasure,

Dr. J

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

I'm Baaaack!

Hi there! I know I've been AWOL for ages, but I now have a bit more free time, and I resolve to once again entertain and inform you. I'm just back from the annual meeting of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, where I caught up with my old friend, Marty Klein. The following is his commentary on our conference. Enjoy!

The Pleasures of Sexual Science By Marty Klein, Ph.D.

Last week I had the honor of addressing the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality. Everyone was very nice to me, and my talk was received enthusiastically.

But that wasn’t nearly the best part. For four days I got to listen to the country’s best sexual scientists. It was a festival of fact, tested hypotheses, and replicated data—actual information.

Leslie Kantor discussed sex education outcomes, demonstrating that scare tactics do not motivate young people, that accurate information is not dangerous, and that parents can shape their kids’ sexual behavior—if they’ll talk to them.

William Fisher dissected common government strategies for fighting HIV/AIDS–and showed why most common approaches are wrong if we want to minimize the spread of the disease.

Debbie Herbenick talked about why promoting sexual satisfaction is an important part of getting people to make responsible sexual decisions. She also showed that policy-makers underestimate men’s willingness to use condoms.

Mickey Diamond presented his long-term study on how children develop a sense of gender—and what happens when physicians or parents ignore this.

There was plenty of other science to go around, with data on the effects of pornography in real life (quite small), the dynamics of sex offending (very low recidivism), the most effective ways to teach medical students about sex, the impact of social media on sexual decision-making, and so on. Even former Surgeon General David Satcher gave a talk.

While sexual scientists were examining the fine points of sample size and research design, Republicans wanting to run for President were running away from science as fast as they could.

Rick Perry dismissed evolution as “just a theory” with “some gaps in it.” He also dismisses climate science as a “contrived phony mess that is falling apart.”

Newt Gingrich, a brilliant, well-educated man who surely says different in private, calls himself “agnostic” on the question of climate change: “I actually don’t know whether global warming is occurring.”

Mitt Romney, who would gladly say Rhode Island is bigger than Texas if he thought it could help him get elected, now says he’s “unsure” about climate change.

Michelle Bachmann—who makes Sarah Palin look moderate, intelligent, warm, and conciliatory—has never met a scientific fact she couldn’t ignore or disagree with. On the “Today” show, she attacked vaccination. In speeches, she calls Emergency Contraception “the abortion pill,” even though a pregnant woman taking EC continues to be pregnant.

Gravity? Unfortunately, these candidates are not being asked if they believe in it. I’d love to hear them either deny that it’s real, or actually say the words “yes, I acknowledge the science.”

Of course, this is a country in which more people believe in the Rapture than in Evolution. Half of today’s Americans are like cavemen confronting fire for the first time—pointing at it with a combination of fear, wonder, and rage.

It all helps explain why sexual scientists spend so much time talking to each other, getting so little time to speak with policy-makers, bureaucrats, and elected officials. Maybe after the Rapture takes all the anti-intellectuals, it will be easier for the voices of scientists to be heard.

"Reprinted from Sexual Intelligence, © Marty Klein, Ph.D. (www.SexualIntelligence.org)."