Dr J's Sex Facts

Fun sex facts and accurate information from a clinical sexologist for a hotter and more fulfilling sex life.

Friday, December 21, 2007

HAPpy Holidaze!!

“To face unafraid,
the plans that we’ve made
Walkin’ in a winter wonderland”

“Winter Wonderland” Felix Barnard

Do you feel like you’re running in this year’s seasonal marathon? You know—the one where you dash madly from one holiday obligation to another while trying frantically to find the perfect gift for that special someone we’ll call your “Light of My Life (LML)”?

How about treating both yourself and your LML this year by giving the gift of “HAP”? HAP is just the thing for any relationship—and it’s the gift that keeps on giving. HAP stands for: Humor, Acceptance and Patience. Say it with me: HAP.


Wit and high spirits really do help get you through the toughest, most stressful times. It’s just not that big a deal when he leaves the toilet seat up, is it? So make a joke, and move on.

You: Damn! That stupid Bathroom Fairy didn't show up overnight to clean up the sink again!
LML: Oh. Did I leave a glob of toothpaste in the sink? Sorry.

LML: How’s the clam chowder I made?
You: Mmmm. Clammy! Salty, too!
LML: Salty? Did I put in too much salt?
You: Come here, and we’ll cut the salt with a little wine lapped up from your navel.


Some things are just NOT going to change—and it really helps when you realize that you can’t force them.

He’s never going to look like an Adonis; but he sure feels good next to you in the morning—especially with that festive holiday wood (For me? You shouldn’t have! Well, I did tell Santa I’ve been really good this year. Can I unwrap it now? Oh please, oh please, oh please!).

She’s put on a few pounds since you met; but be honest, there’s something about those curves that make her look even more attractive. Face it, everybody thinks their LML looks great in lingerie—and even better taking it off!


You have to get to that party, but he’s called to say he’s running late.

You: We both agreed we’d go to this office party.
LML: I know; I’m stuck at my sister’s. Do we really have to go?
You: I don’t know; it’s YOUR office party.
LML: You’re right. I’ll be right over.
You: OK. Get here early, and I might let you muss me up before we go. . .

Wrap It up in a Nice Box with a Pretty Pink Ribbon

Love really does last longer when you stir in a generous soupçon of good will. So when that holiday stress starts getting to you (and it will), remember HAP: Humor, Acceptance, Patience. Your partner will love you all the more for it, and I guarantee you’ll have a truly HAPpy Holiday.

With Pleasure,

Dr. J

Friday, December 14, 2007

Ho, Ho, Ho! Jingle, Jingle, Jingle, Etc.

“Oh the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful…”

Let It Snow, Jule Styne and Sammy Cahn

Well, OK. I’m from California, where the holidays are more likely to bring beach weather than snow. But I still associate this time of year with snowmen, sleighs and …sex! Sex with a snowman on a sleigh? Why not? There are worse ways to celebrate winter.

Can you tell I’m in a silly holiday mood? Something about this time of the year brings out my inner child. Girl wants to play, exchange presents by a warm fire, share holiday cheer with friends and family and generously spread love and joy everywhere! (Note to self: GET MORE MISTLETOE!)

Holiday Hysteria: the Hidden Heartache

However, remember this can also be a seriously stressful time of year (is everyone exhausted yet?), so it’s important to let your inner kid come out and play (oh please, oh please!). It’s also helpful to remember not to take it out on your partner, roommate, friend or lover. These people care about you and don’t deserve a mistletoe stake through the heart.

Here are a few suggestions for stress relief and just plain fun: make naked snow angels--but only if you have a hot tub for “after,” sing Winter Wonderland too loud (on/off key is totally optional), give/get a massage, take a luxurious bath, buy something frivolous, go to bed with a good book—or someone who’s read one. In short, be sure to put yourself on your own gift list, too (For me?! It’s just what I wanted! How did you know?).

My best wishes to one and all for a very joyous holiday season. Remember to play safe.

With Pleasure,Dr. J

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Cakes and Candles and Sex, Oh My!

It's the Maestro's birthday, so I'm shopping, menu planning, guest listing and obsessing. What to get him? Will he like it? Will it fit? Who to invite? What to serve them?

Now is when I remind myself that birthday celebrations are supposed to be enjoyable. You know: FUN.

Deep breath.

That's better.

Back next week to begin our annual discussion of how to keep the holidays sexy.

With Pleasure,

Dr. J