Dr J's Sex Facts

Fun sex facts and accurate information from a clinical sexologist for a hotter and more fulfilling sex life.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Help for Shy Boys, Part II: Clothes DO Make the Man

“Why doesn't she like me? Is it my hair, my overbite, the fact that I've worn the same shirt and shorts for the last four years?”
Bart Simpson

***New readers: Here’s a note about how to get the most out of this blog. As regular readers can attest, you might find it a bit different from others you’ve read because my intention is to be both entertaining and educational. Each new post is based on information presented in the previous one; so to get the maximum benefit, I recommend you begin with the introductory post from last August and read forward from there.***

Shy Guys Are My Guys

Psst! Hey you! Yes, you—the one sitting in the corner hoping no one will notice you, but also desperately clinging to the fantasy that someone will.

Did you ever play this word game when you were little?

Where are you?
I’m hiding
Where are you?
I’m hiding
When I find you, I’m going to kiss you!
I’m hiding in the closet

Lots of women find you shy guys incredibly attractive, but we never get the chance to show it because you won’t come out of that closet so we can find you (and kiss you!).

Last week we discussed your first steps to overcoming shyness. This week, we’re going to talk about the importance of appearance.

Shy Guy + Sloppy Guy = Lonely Guy

You’re fun to be with, smart as a whip, and have a wicked sense of humor. And you’re also shy. I would never suggest that looks are your most valuable asset. However, dressing well not only does wonders for your appearance, but it also provides you with that necessary boost to your self-confidence.

50 years ago, men were expected to earn money and achieve, while women were expected to be attractive and nurturing. Both women and men have made great strides in breaking out of these stereotypes; but many American men still look like slobs, and they basically ignore their appearance. In Europe, men have always been fashion-conscious; in fact, many would never even consider wearing last year’s style! American men, however, have only just begun to pay attention to fashion. Repeat after me: Flip-flops and untucked shirts are OK at a resort, but not at an uptown cocktail lounge.

What’s My Style?

Remember there’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to style. Whether you’re a casual, athletic type or the classic Ivy Leaguer, there are great clothes for you. And style doesn’t need to be expensive. Here are some shopping ideas:

· For the young and young at heart, if you haven’t already discovered Target (“Tarzhay”), get yourself over to this great store, which stocks stylish clothes at very reasonable prices for the young and young at heart.
· For those who are a bit more traditional, Macy’s always has a sale, and you can find just about any style in their men’s department.
· If you’re lucky enough that cost doesn’t matter and you’re looking for classic, very upscale clothes, Nordstrom is your answer. All the great designers live here.

If you aren’t sure about your style or what looks good on you, both Macy’s and Nordstrom feature personal shoppers (at no cost) who will help you decide on a look (or looks) and guide you through all your choices.

Well, there you have it. Looking good affects your attitude, which makes you look and feel even better. And so on. Try it!

But remember, no matter what your appearance, I want to assure all of you that you’re just fine. Please believe that. Remember the mantra here at Dr. J’s: We’re all different, and that's OK. You are unique and wonderful, whether you’re short, tall, muscular, wiry or none of the above. And there are some great clothes out there just waiting for you to give them a home.

Stay tuned next week for Part 3: Talking the Talk and Walking the Walk

As always, the Doc. is in for your questions and comments.

With Pleasure,

Dr. J


  • At 3:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    In Europe, men have always been fashion-conscious; in fact, many would never even consider wearing last year’s style!

    As someone from Europe (more specifically, Germany), I think that this may be an overstatement. There are slobs on both sides of the Atlantic, and there are well-dressed people as well. Depending on where you go, one sort or the other may be prevalent.

  • At 3:34 PM, Blogger Dr J said…

    Hello. Of course you're correct. And thanks for point out that I made a sweeping generalization. It was based on my many travels in metropolitan areas. I have no doubt there are lots of European slobs as well. However, it's my observation that in general, urban European men seem more fashion-conscious--particularly the French. Great to hear from you. Keep writing! Dr. J


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