Dr. J’s Declaration of Sexual Independence for a New Age

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

The Declaration of Independence.

This is an update to last year’s July 4th post. It’s now 2008, and I’m still pondering those weighty words above–-and of course, I feel compelled to add women to that very important and eloquent equation. I’ve often wondered: what if the writers of the Declaration of Independence considered sexuality as an unalienable right? They might have included our right to the pursuit of sexual happiness, including:

• freedom to pursue mutually satisfying sex (anyone up for a fantasy involving hot leather and lace?)
• freedom to pursue sexual knowledge in all its manifestations (what would all the 16-year-olds have done without Go Ask Alice?
• freedom to have sexual thoughts and fantasies (keep the sex police out of your head)
• freedom to talk about sex (wouldn’t it be great if the culture began to endorse the idea that it’s OK to talk openly and honestly about our sexuality? Come to think of it: how many of us grew up in homes where our parents discussed sex with us—not in an overbearing way, but calmly and non-judgmentally?)
• freedom to identify with whatever gender or nongender works for us (femme women who also like to “top”: step out from behind those tired old clichés and into the Authentic You)
• freedom of sexual self-determination (I want what I want when I want it!)
• freedom from persecution, condemnation, discrimination, or societal intervention in private sexual behavior (can’t we all just get along and let each other be happy? And, yes, vibrators are STILL illegal in Texas!)
• freedom to have nonjudgmental sexual health care (when you absolutely, positively need a doctor who understands your devotion to ben-wa balls!)
• freedom to control reproduction (will we EVER have a male birth control pill?!!!#@@#$##$#$)
• freedom from political, legal or religious interference in sexual expression (until that day comes, I guess that’s what Showtime and HBO are for, right?
• And finally, the recognition that our society needs to have mechanisms in place whereby the opportunities for socio-sexual activities are made available to disabled or chronically ill people; those incarcerated in prisons, hospitals or institutions; those disadvantaged because of age, lack of physical attractiveness, or lack of social skills; the poor and the lonely.

As I look at the above list, I’m feeling somehow optimistic that next year’s post will have some good news about sexual freedom. Stay tuned, because the winds of change are swirling. In the meantime, I’m sure you can all find something on the above list that pertains to you and your life, so here’s to you: Happy Sexual Independence Day!

The barbeque is already heating up and the Bellinis are chilled and waiting on the bar, so it’s time for your friendly neighborhood Dr. J to head off for yet another celebration. For now I want each of you to go out and exercise your own individual unalienable Right to pursue your particular Happiness. See you next week!

With Pleasure,

Dr. J